The medicine of a broken heart </3

and other lessons from 2023

Jan 11, 2024

I am a little behind in all my new year activities. I finally finally made black eyed peas and collard greens yesterday, and I’m excited to be connecting with you all today :) my first newsletter in the new year!!!

Like many people, I’m still feeling the energy of hibernation and stillness. While I think the true new year is in the spring, I have had to pull myself out of my bed to return to work, and it has been a struggle.

But I am out of my bed and I am officially back in the office!

If you are interested in collaborating or recieving services as a client, let me know!

I have 1-2 spots open for individual coaching and am booking trainings with organizations.

My calendar is filling up, so if you are seriously interested, let’s connect to see how I can support you! Don’t sleep on it!!!

I finally watched the barbie movie.

while I love the aesthetics of barbie, I felt pretty disappointed by the movie. The hyperawareness of gender and the complete absence of racial analysis was stale.

I watched it on the plane ride from Paris to Delhi, and it helped time pass, so I’m grateful for that.

do you remember this brief AI-driven trend ?

I have some big news!

Api and I moved to Atlanta!! If you are in Atlanta and want to connect, let me know by responding to this or sending me an email directly at : Opulenceabundanceconsulting@gmail.com

I am in love with my new space.

The idea of moving to Atlanta emerged last new years, and it was a dream I clung to as I weathered the despair and discomfort that comes with the tedium of a broken heart.

In 2022, as I was reluctantly planning to move back to my hometown, I went through a deeply traumatic and unexpected break-up.

As exhilarating as love can be, heartbreak can be equally intense.

I am very grateful for my beloved friend Zumi, who for several years has talked to me about the magic of breaks ups, and the gifts that come with a broken heart.

In Buddhism, they often speak about the wisdom that comes with grief. Grief, in this theology, awakens us to the impermanence of life. When I learned about this, I instantly connected it to the magic of break ups.

Because when we go through heart break, we are often grieving something extremely special and intangible, but no less real.

When I began my journey through heartbreak I felt afraid. I was suddenly single, emotionally devastated, and living in upstate South Carolina. It was like being 12 years old all over again.

It was uncomfortable, but also magical.

Within three months of my breakup, I returned to India for the first time in 13 years. I found a new intimacy with my parents and relished the unexpected comfort of being reunited with the land I grew up on. Over time I developed a routine that included long walks through my neighborhood with my cat at my heels, and together we charmed my neighbors.

I channeled my energy towards my career and started writing this newsletter with a previously unattainable consistency, and in August of this year I hosted my first cohort of New Cycles!!

I tended to my friendships, and they tended to me.

I reconnected with old childhood friends, spent weekends in Atlanta and Durham ,and of course some very magical weeks spent in Los Angeles.

My break-up gave me the gift of self-confidence

As I reflect on the past year, I admire my past self for my clarity, conviction, and dedication to my own values.

Heartbreak and grief can over take our expierence of life, and offer us new expierences, like waking up crying and spending days tending to the pit in our stomach. As I rode waves of grief, regret, and anguish, I returned, over and over again, to my values, and stuck by my decision of no contact.

Prior to this expierence of heart break, I spent a lot of time thinking about discipline, responsibility, and accountability.

I did things like get crocidiles tattooed on me and name them devotion and commitment.

My break up taught me the true meaning of discipline, devotion, and commitment.

It was my devotion to myself,

It was my commitment to live a life of joy and resist self sabotage,

It was my discipline, pushing me towards routine, towards meaningful work, towards new relationships, even on days where I did not want to get out of bed, and cried through my walks.

There were many days where I didn’t know where I was going, or how things were going to improve. Days where I ate vegetables and took myself outside, but still felt terrible.

But slowly, slowly over time I felt better. Through the magic of the world, I unexpectedly went to India again with my mom, and this time when I came home, I came home to a beautiful apartment in Atlanta, and a housewarming party filled with family and friends.

another glimpse of the space featuring my mom

I am sharing this true story of heart break and change, because it is magical and I can barely believe it, and because I think sometimes we need true stories of heartbreak.

I started the year heartbroken over a lover, and I am ending the year in heartbreak over the genocide in Palestine.

I believe, but could be wrong, that at the time of publishing this newsletter there has been 97 days of genocide in Palestine.

97 days of cruel, unnecessary, barbaric violence. 97 days of terror.

I feel: heartbreak, repulsion, disgust, shame, anger, frustration. It all lives with in me, as does my commitment and recommitment to the Palestinian people.

Over the past 3 months, I have felt many moments of confusion, of guilt, of shame. I keep thinking of Motaz on NBC telling all of us viewers that we must acknowledge that we are not as free or powerful as we think we are. That we must acknowledge the forces of power that dominate this world, and that we must remember Palestine.

Many of us know about the links between Israel and the US military and police(specifically the Atlanta police). We know that our struggles are connected, and from this perspective I feel deeply moved by the continued acts of resistance I witness.

From protestors in South Carolina disrupting Joe Biden’s speech to the Houthi of Yemen attacking Israeli ships in the red sea, to lawyers in South Africa bringing a case against Israel in the international court of justice there is an active resistance. It is real, and vibrant and strong.

In that same energy of resistance, I want to share a call for global aid to be donated to Yemen, as many believe that the courageous attacks on Israel will result in a loss of humanitarian aid to the region.

In the spirit of transparency, there are moments this past month where I acted in ways I feel ashamed of. Moments where I felt possessed by consumerism, and pulled into the web of spending, only to be plunged into shame. I give gratitude to my shame, but I don’t dwell in it. After feeling it, I move towards recommitment.

Recommitment to my values, to the vision of our collective liberation, and to my role as someone who is here to disrupt violence and resist oppression.

We are collectively powerful ( I see us making McDonald’s and Starbucks pockets hurt!!!). May we never forget our power and strength, but only grow more skilled in mobilizing and working together.

All power to the people, for the people as we continue to resist violent fascism.