The Healing Power of Anger
join me live to talk about the special medicine this highly stigmatized emotion holds
Hello beautiful people!!!
What is your relationship to anger like?
Anger is a sacred emotion
I don’t think this is a particularly hot take, but so many of us, myself included, are taught that anger is a negative or bad emotion to be avoided at all costs.
In this culture of repression, expressions of anger are often extreme, unhealthy, and directed at others or groups of people.
It is violence towards others and systems of oppression that ignite my deepest anger, as it should.
Anger can exist without violence
We can feel angry and express our anger without harming another person or creature.
I believe in honoring anger proactively through expression, ceremony, dance, and sound.
I like listening to movement leaders speak, and feeling the fire of anger ignite in my belly.
When we move towards anger, we are more able to move with it, using at a vehicle to our inner and outer liberation
Like many, I am captivated by the Haka, a ceremonial Māori dance that it is used in many different moments, from celebration to grief.
I want to move with care in sharing this example, since I am not from the culture. I think there is a misconception/simplification of this ritual as like a “war dance.” I think it is the gaze of an emotionally repressed culture to see the haka and think “this must be an act of aggression.”
Anger is most dangerous when it is ignored
When we feel angry, it is important to listen. Our anger is a sign, a flag, desperately waving at us, fanning our inner fire to support us in protecting ourselves or someone close to us.
I notice that when I ignored my anger, it comes out subconciously, it turns to resentment, to slowly burning bitterness and anger that becomes more potent, hardened, and dangerous over time.
Anger should signal self reflection; not entitlement to harm
I notice that sometimes people are angry that someone else “made them feel” angry. By people, I mean me!
Sometimes I am angry by the situations other people create that I am involved in, and in my angriest self I want to blame and harm.
It is only my values and my commitment to intention that guide me towards self reflection.
Passive anger, is even more insidious in this; after weeks or months of sacrificing our emotional integrity, it can be so seductive to believe that we deserve to harm another person, but the voice in our head is not telling us the truth.
While we may experience coercion or infinite other circumstances that lead us to keeping our anger inside, we are ultimately the ones responsible for our safety and emotions. Nothing can justify harming another person.
it feels important to name this, to say that while anger is healthy, I don’t think harm or self-righteousness necessarily is.
When we welcome our anger we improve our relationship with ourself
We all get angry. Preventing harm is not about denying our anger, but turning towards it. When we feel angry its so important that we listen to ourselves, and understand the source of the anger and tend to our needs.
When we listen to ourselves, we are able to heal things like betrayal and self - abandonment.
For some of us, the emotion of anger might be scary or uncomfortable, and so we understandably avoid the emotion, abandoning the aspect of ourself that feels it.
It’s okay to be scared of anger
Many of us have emotions we are avoiding because we don’t know how to deal with them. This is why working with a mental health professional can be helpful! Another professional can help create a safe container to explore emotions, and also help bring you back to baseline, giving you the freedom to explore.
If this is work you are interested in, my books are closed for the spring, but I will be taking on more individual clients in June! Sign up here for a no obligation consultation.
I’ll also be talking about it in my live today, that is happening now! from 12:30pm to 1pm EST/ 9:30 am- 10am PST
you can watch the recording on my youtube
Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!
I hope you all have a beautiful week and let your anger move you into action in resisting oppression!!!
