Healers get lonely too

Don't be fooled by all my friendship photos, I'm human too

Hello beloved friends

my jewelry from last friday night

Happy Black history month !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I owe so much to black people and their brilliance. We ( by this I mean non black people) are trained and incentivized to practice anti-blackness. I think that this means we have to actively choose to love, celebrate, protect, support, uplift, and care for black people.

“ never wound a snake; kill it ”

This black history month I am celebrating the legacy of Harriet Tubman. Not only did she leave her husband and travel over 90 miles on foot to secure her freedom, she also risked her freedom to liberate approximately 70 people, and assisted in the liberation of another 60 people.

Her legacy humbles me. I didn’t realize until writing this newsletter that she provided oral testimony for a biography entitled Harriet. I plan to read it this February. Let me know if you read it too! maybe we can have a book club.

Another Harriet Tubman quote that I love:

“I had reasoned this out in my mind, there was one of two thing I had a right to, liberty or death; if I could not have one, I would have the other.

I am finding abundant comfort in the wisdom of our collective ancestors

I’m healing from relational violence through the loving hands of my elders

our elders are magical friends, and we are meant to be in relationship with them. Over and over in my life I have found myself in the throws of passion as a result of relationships in my same age group. I think when we talk about Chosen Family it needs to intergenerational, otherwise it collapses real quick. We need to not only love and value our elders, but seek them out and intentionall tend to our relationships.

I also want to celebrate my friend Kenneth!

Check out his substack!! Kenneth is teaching an 8 week course on how to be financially free!!

I believe that being abundant and being excessive are different things. As an impulsive spender, I am often excessive. I’m grateful to Kenneth for being a non judgemental presence who can meet me where I am at with money and help me implement some strategies to support financial stability. I’m going to be apart of his financial freedom cohort! You know Kenneth is about creating access because he has 8 spots available at a significant discount.

Grab a spot and join in me in cultivating power through financial stability!!! You can learn more and purchase a spot here

I am celebrating the 17.6 billion dollars of US aid that has been blocked from Israel

we have to celebrate our wins!!!! This is definitely a win, and I hope it can light a fire under our collective ass to keep going, keep caring, keep giving a fuck. I’m noticing a lot of fundraisers in my community to support people relocating from Gaza!! And it is really not ok that this is the world we are in, where people have to FUNDRAISE to survive a genocide.

Please donate if you are able and share with community. Honestly, this is part of why I am grateful for Kenneth and his program, because I feel desire to donate, but also very confused about my finances sometimes! The more clarity I have around my money, the more intentionally I can spend it.

If you have or know about a fundraiser for Gaza , specifically individuals, please feel free to share in the comments.

healers get lonely too

You guyzzz my last newsletter was so full of cuteness and magic and friendship!!! It was so fun!!!

Whenever I have a very aspirational or very positive newsletter, I like to balance it out with some realism!!!

It is so natural to compare ourselves to what we see online, but the truth is that what we see online is only a small portion of what is really happening.

I have friends I love, and I also have moments of loneliness. Both are true. Even worse, I’m a little bit toxic and have some destructive patterns of behavior that I’m working to heal. Specifically, I tend toward self-imposed martyrdom and needless self-sacrifice that occasionally generates resentment.

I like to roast myself

I identify as a healer ( I know it feels like a term that has been…used), and I’m grateful for the relationships in my life that can both recognize my wisdom and my humanity.

I can do a great job listening, and might even have some advice that resonates, but I am still someone that expierences “negative” emotions. Sometimes my thinking is distorted, sometimes I can’t see around my big feelings, sometimes I selfish.

I will never forget the moment I realized that enlightenment couldn’t save me from being human. That no matter how wise I became, I’m still subject to human emotions, and human pain.

These days, I’m grateful for my humanity and my ability to feel, although sometimes I do escape into the tik tok doom scroll or phone games. I’m a human after all.

thank goodness I have superhuman api in my life!!!

I want to create a special subscriber only segment for my paid subscribers

Happy to provide my queer + trans community of color with free access! Just email me :)

so, what special segment do u think I should add to this newsletter:

THANK U FOR READING XOXOXOX

special aloo stuffed mirchi I made for some friends last week!!! it was soooo tasty.

love love love you all !!! As always, please share if valuable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!