The healing power of a flat tire

sometimes you want to go fast and the universe forces you to slow down

Hello Beloved friends

big thank you to the bookstore yes, please for letting me lay in the sun and read audre lorde

I am writing this on the eve of a solar eclipse

The girlies know its retrograde season.

This past weekend I expierenced not one, but two consecutive flat tires, meaning that I received one, and then twenty-four hours later, another.

the second flat tire

I blame Atlanta roads, and the eclipse.

In one week, I am getting on a plane and leaving my home space for a month.

Time feels precious, and I feel a creeping anxiety around my to-do list.

In these moments, it is easy to be pulled into a riptide of urgency, to give in to frantic and chaotic energy, to attempt to do too much.

There is a truth to the urgent energy: I do have things to do, things that need to get done, like replacing my flat tire and getting my taxes squared away.

Simultaneously, I want to make time to cuddle my sweet cat and enjoy my home. I want to go into my next adventures energized and nourished.

kitchen sink cookies with: pumpkin, oatmeal, sesame seeds, sliced almond, chia seeds, lavender, oregeno, sea salt, and a big dollop of almond butter on top. I ended up burning them cause I was doing too much, but they still tasted good

Yesterday, as I approached my car with an overflowing, impossible to complete to-do list, I spotted the flat tire and instantly my to-do list simplified.

Instead of going out and sourcing items I need for my adventures, I stayed home and deep cleaned my house.

While it’s inconvenient, and I’ll have to spend some of my very precious time getting my flat tire replaced, I’m grateful for this flat tire making me sit still.

API has a lot to teach me about stillness

When we embrace urgency, we release intention

Sometimes going fast is the least efficient way to do something. When we rush, we are prone to making costly mistakes. It’s not about literal speed as much as it is about energy.

The energy of taking our time is not mutually exclusive to the energy of getting things done and staying in motion.

We can move with care, even as we move on a timeline/deadline.

At least, that is what I am telling myself as I am tying up all these loose ends.

Time feels precious, and I feel a creeping anxiety around my to-do list.

I ended up re organizing my tea drawer last night. Obviously an urgent task, and I had to pause to snap this photo of the herbs splashed across my drawer liner. Art!

I have faith in doing less

I’ve tried doing the most, and it ends in a crash of energy and capacity, sometimes with tears! Sometimes the crash is burnout that takes months to heal.

The solution cannot always be for one person to do more.

because even as you do more, expanding the window of working hours, there is always more to do.

Sometimes we think of work as a set of completable tasks, but as we erode our own boundaries to combat our workload, we understand that work can easily become a bottomless pit that will drain us of all our energy, capacity, and resources.

So how do we handle our overflowing non negotiable to do list?

my to do list isn’t the only thing overflowing!!

To do less, we have to change how and what we do

I often ask myself, where can I find flexibility in this situation? What can I do in the present that might give me a little bit more space in the future?

How can I adjust my expectations or future vision to make my goals more possible?

Often, I have ideas about what “I have to do,” when I pause to reflect, my internal expectations don’t always meet external circumstances. Often, I am adding steps or creating a high expectation unnessecarily.

I had a teacher who once said:

The sick mind continues into infinity

Basically, that when we get fixated we can spend forever “perfecting” something. It can become addictive, and we are always occupied.

It takes awareness, grounding, perspective, foresight to know that something is complete. To create space in our lives to pause and reflect. To resist the current of “busy” and to allow presence.

Pefection is a delusional concept.

Many of the clients I work with are brilliant minds that struggle with perfection and I have started telling them : your B+ work is A+ work. Your A+ work is delusional and unobtainable.

A terrifying ginormous anthill in my driveway. These atlanta fire ants are real delusional overachievers.

I’m addicted to Wisteria Syrup.

it tastes so good guys.

It’s not just the flavor, although the flavor is delicious. When I drink wisteria syrup I feel what I can only describe as an internal zing. I feel my spirit light up! It kind of feels like drugs.

The past few days I have felt a flood of self loving thoughts and insights, and I attribute this to Wisteria.

I learned about flower essences in 2020, two months before the pandemic. I have heard people describe flower essences as a hoax, or a scam, but I think flowers have real medicine for us. Flowers nourish our soul, and connecting intimately with a flower can resource us in ways we don’t expect.

I decided that I want to forage more wisteria and infuse vinegar with it. This will make a delcious and zesty salad dressing!

I made a wisteria offering to the anthills in my driveway

I’m going live now!

I will be on the airways from 12:40 EST/ 9:40 PST - 1pm EST/ 10 PST! Hope you can join me! I’ll be talking about going slow to go fast!! You can always watch the recording on my youtube!

This week is my last week of lives! I’m going to pause for Japan and then restart when I return in late may/ early June.

When do you think I should go live when I come back?

I am releasing a course for navigating conflict!

I know I was originally supposed to make one for boundaries, but this topic won out on the IG polls! Boundary content is coming. I asked this on IG, but want to ask you all too about what you specifically want to learn about in the conflict navigation course! If you have an idea not listed here don’t hesitate to let me know!!!

love you all !! Thank you for reading!!!

Doesn’t API look like a Scientology advocate here? He is ready to talk to you about saving your soul!!