Saying a prayer for my enemies

Reflections on approaching conflict with wisdom, power, and grace

Hello, beloved friends!

Have you been daydreaming about a 1:1 coaching session with me?

Well you have a just a few weeks left to make your dreams come true. I will offer coaching sessions until November 15th, and then I will pause until Feburary 2024.

In 2024, I will continue to book with existing clients, but moving forward, I will only take on clients who have gone through New Cycles.

If you are trying to experience the magic of a 1:1 session before the end of the year, you can book a session here.

I love this poem by Joy Harjo.

This Morning I Pray for My Enemies

Joy Harjo

And whom do I call my enemy?
An enemy must be worthy of engagement.
I turn in the direction of the sun and keep walking.
It’s the heart that asks the question, not my furious mind.
The heart is the smaller cousin of the sun.
It sees and knows everything.
It hears the gnashing even as it hears the blessing.
The door to the mind should only open from the heart.
An enemy who gets in, risks the danger of becoming a friend.

Api knows all about enemies

This past week I led a conflict navigation workshop with the Arizona Department of Health. I began with a Joy Harjo poem, and spent much of the workshop highlighting the nuances of conflict.

Conflict is apart of life. Sometimes it is so subtle, and we are able to navigate it with such ease, that we don’t even notice it. In other situations, the idea of conflict can feel so scary that we attempt to avoid it altogether.

Ultimately, conflict is a sign of authentic desire being vocalized without fear of another person. When we desire different things, have different ideas about right or wrong, or what to do next, we find ourselves in conflict.

As I provide more training on conflict, I am beginning to understand that what empowers us to navigate conflict with grace, power, and wisdom is our self-concept. How do we understand ourselves, and we imagine ourselves in relationship to others, what choices do we give ourselves?

In reflecting, we may unearth unspoken expectations that are at the heart of past wounds. We may find ourselves, crying, thinking about the thing our caregiver said to us as a child, and how that moment informed so manny moments after. We may realize that we spent years living based off an assumption or idea that we took as a fact of life, and only now we see how wrong we were.

It can be so easy to fixate on the past, but when we choose presence we are able to step into our power, and move forward from a place of choice and intention.

Conflict can be transformative and devestating. Conflict lights up our deepest wounds, and when faced with the glare of an unwelcome flashlight we can dig our heels in, or we can shift our position. When we are able to ease our resistance, conflict can lead us by the hand to a different perspective of the world entirely, which can be liberating and scary.

The dual emotions of life-altering change

How do we manage change and the unknown of life?

By breathing. Acknowledging our emotions. Breathing with our emotions. Reaching out to our friends. Checking in, asking for help, taking breaths together.

When faced with the unknown of life I always take comfort in knowing:

I don’t need to have all the answers. My community and I can solve any problem together.

I am celebrating almost two years of knowing this breathing partner and co- problem solver.

I speak to all of this tangentially in the latest episode of my podcast, Earthworm Slumber Party.

I co-host this podcast with the brilliant Nisha Modhi, and this episode is one of my favorites. I love the first episode we recorded (Opulence meets a Golden Buddha), and I adore the secret episode we are about to release on our ko-fi.

This episode is a close second in terms of favorite!

You can really hear how far Nisha and I have come in terms of being podcasters. Our insights go deep, and our chemistry is really there. So grateful to everyone who has supported and encouraged us!

Catch a little glimpse below, and if you like it, give it a listen! You can find us on youtube and wherever you find podcasts.

THANK U FOR READING <3

below the cut I share with paid subscribers about attending Sex Down South in ATL and reflections on being led by desire

Also please share this publication if you feel so moved!!!