ADHD + Trauma
Going live to talk about managing my ADHD through trauma healing
hey daffodils
Have you looked at a daffodil upclose recently?
I have. They grow wild in Atlanta. They are bizzare and beautiful and smell delicious.
I’m going live at 9am PST/ 12pm EST
I might be live as you read this! Join me on youtube, instagram, or linkedin! I’m usually live for about an hour.
Like the title of this email my topic will be on the impact of trauma on our lives, including discussion of theories about how trauma and ADHD are connected
healing trauma has helped me manage my ADHD symptoms significantly
I have always had insightful ideas and I have always been a skilled writer. However when I transitioned into adulthood and stopped living with my parents, my life became chaotic and extremely disorganized.
Leaving my parents house was the release from a state of frequent activation. I was relieved to be free, but I also didn’t necessarily know how to create safety for myself. It was extremely difficult to keep up with the expectations and responsibilities of a college student while navigating a severe chronic post traumatic stress disorder response.
At that time, my younger self knew nothing of all that I know now.
I was drowning in a sea of unexplainable feelings.
we all feel this way sometimes, and if we are at the beginning of our journey of understanding our feelings, we may feel this way all the time.
We may feel desperate for the feeling of intense emotion to end.
I found myself in this position, drowning in uncomfortable body sensations beyond my understanding, and I was desperate to shift my expierence.
my journey was beyond non linear. It was not even spiralic. It was a tangled fucking mess
I turned to the past, to the beatles, to history, to science, to psychedelics, to information, to the internet, and to prayer to make sense of it.
The journey took me through the depths of humility as I healed slowly over 13 years
so many layers in this journey, so many unexpected twists and turns, so many moments where I cried, desiring for my life to look different and feeling lost in the journey, not sure how to move forward.
Ultimately, I htink the key was to keeping taking steps, one foot in front of the other.
Only in reflection, have I realized how much I healed
There was a time in my life where I would have like 16 different substacks, and none of them would have the momentum that this one does.
I realized that this newsletter, alongside my beautiful organized functional home where I frequently invite friends over, are evidence of my healing.
For so long I lived in unmanagable dysregulation and also in literal mess and disorganization. for a longtime I dreamed of this life and it felt perpetually out of reach.
fibers helped me heal
The vagus nerve is less of a single string and more of a matted tangle of fibers.
Their is a magical plasticity to our spirits and we as human are capable of profound change.
Doing things like untangling yarn slowed me down, and over time i learned how to prevent big knots.
For many years I would sit in a messy room, in the center of chaos, and self regulate by knitting or crocheting
Over time, my nervous sytem took on a new shape
I knit myself back together, and I live my life with more intention and choice.
I do want to name that I still struggle, my trauma still keeps me humble. I still find myself in occassional situations that are dangerous or out of alignment with my true desire. There are things I am still healing, behavior I am still shifting.
It is not about perfection, but many small choices that we make over and over again.
Having the desire to change the behavior is powerful, and with action, changing our behavior is transformative.
This is a glimpse into this week’s live!
We will be talking about the disorganizing nature of trauma and knitting ourselves back together with healing somatic movement.
I hope to see you there!!
Also- knitting and fiber art help me regulate and are one of my favorite hobbies, but so many hobbies have healing medicine!!
love you thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!
